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The Daily Man-Up: 9 Incredible (and WORKING) Principles To Break Your Internet/Social Media Addiction – Caveman Circus

The Daily Man-Up: 9 Incredible (and WORKING) Principles To Break Your Internet/Social Media Addiction - Caveman Circus

February 25, 2019 | No Feedback » | Subjects: Man-Up

Perhaps you’ve had the expertise just lately of sitting down and making an attempt to learn a guide, and discovering your thoughts begin to… wander. Perhaps you’re having hassle focusing at work or faculty, sitting by means of films, and even TV exhibits. There’s a bit of itch there. “That is cool, I assume… however what’s occurring on the web?”

Or perhaps you’re simply extra anxious lately. Depressed. Cynical. In a “The World Is Shit” rut. You’re serious about all these IDIOTS on the market who’re ruining the planet for the remainder of us. The Nazi/Fascist/Islamist/Patriarchy/Feminist/WhitePrivilege complicated.

Right here’s what’s happening: years of heavy web use have (actually) reprogrammed your mind.

Your smartphone, your laptop computer your social media accounts, your streaming websites, your inbox and your favourite blogs are all working collectively to hijack your mind’s pure reward system. Each day, you hit the mind with a barrage of continual overstimulation that it merely isn’t tailored for. For this reason it’s more durable than ever to focus, to relax out, to make it via a gathering or dinner or rest room break with out stealing a look at your telephone. Your mind craves moremoreMORE.

The reprogramming of your reward system is hampering your motivation and creativity. It’s stressing you out and hurting your social life. It’s reducing your educational or profession efficiency. It’s turning you right into a smartphone-addicted zombie. And it’s convincing you that the web digital actuality world is important to really feel human.

The excellent news: it’s all programming, which suggests you’ll be able to counter-program. This information will present you ways.

Prepared? Let’s dive in…

Monkey brains urgent dopamine buttons

The rationale it’s exhausting to have a wholesome relationship with digital media is as a result of our monkey brains see it as a low-cost strategy to set off completely satisfied emotions.

Apart from worry, pleasure is an important behavioral motivator. Pleasure is run by way of the mind’s reward middle, which releases feel-good neurotransmitters (akin to dopamine) once we do issues which have traditionally been linked with survival.

Listed here are just some of the issues that set off dopamine:

  • Social interplay
  • Intercourse
  • Punishing these perceived to “have it coming”
  • Novelty and the sudden
  • Humor
  • Info consumption
  • Profitable arguments/being proper

In contrast to in nature, when all of this stuff are tightly correlated with survival, the substitute actuality layer of the web can current them in speedy sequence to be consumed endlessly from behind the security of the display.

The web, smartphones, your favourite weblog, your inbox, your Instagram account — your monkey mind simply sees these as massive, shiny dopamine buttons. Press the button, get the hit. Repeat.

This wouldn’t be a lot of an issue, besides the mind is malleable—extremely malleable. Sustained publicity to stimuli packages the mind to anticipate and worth sure issues. What you expose your mind to cultivates patterns inside it. With respect to the web, the programming cultivates (amongst different issues):

  • Mindlessness. A have to keep away from the current second and escape into the on-screen world, which is related to security and luxury.
  • Scattered considering. An incapability to set priorities and concentrate on what’s essential.
  • Ego and insecurity. When extra validation comes from externalities (one’s social media profile or on-line rep), it’s unimaginable to develop actual vanity. Individuals wrestle with neurosis and self-loathing.
  • Diminished motivation. When your reward system is tuned to anticipate straightforward rewards from vicarious onscreen pleasures, why pursue troublesome, messy real-world achievements?
  • Elevated nervousness. Animals are supposed to deal with common stress from stressors that they will react to, like predators. However stress techniques are compromised, badly, by a weight-reduction plan of world-is-ending-and-you’re-powerless information.
  • Meanness and cynicism. Individuals get used to indulging their inside baby on-line, ranting and complaining, and it leaks into their actual life.

The excellent news is that, simply as you programmed your mind, you’ll be able to reprogram it. You’ll be able to create a more healthy relationship with digital that may make it straightforward so that you can:

  • Assume clearly
  • Be extra productive and artistic
  • Be kinder to your self and to others
  • Introduce extra stillness and contemplation into your life
  • Scale back nervousness and cynicism

Or, extra merely: You possibly can transfer from a state of perpetual scatteredness to a state of calm, clear considering.

The remainder of this information is all about how we do this.

Discovering your candy spot

Digital isn’t like cigarettes. You give up cigarettes. You don’t fear about “making a wholesome relationship” together with your Marlboros.

Digital is like meals. We’ve to eat. (I assume you don’t have to make use of digital, however going full Amish is neither lifelike nor preferable for almost all of humanity). Inside that obligation, nevertheless, is an enormous spectrum. We will name it the “utility/enjoyable” spectrum.

On one finish, pure utility. The stuff that nourishes. Uncooked veggies, lean protein, eggs and tuna. Quinoa and lentils.

On the opposite finish is enjoyable. Chili fries and movie show popcorn. Pink velvet cupcakes. Darkish chocolate and pink wine.

What are we on the lookout for? The candy spot — principally wholesome, however with a number of smart indulgences. You in all probability can’t eat chili fries every single day and keep optimum well being. You in all probability can take pleasure in a number of for those who’ve been consuming nicely and understanding. Definitely, a life with pink wine and chocolate and a slice of birthday cake each from time to time is extra enjoyable than a life with out.

Our relationship with digital could be very comparable. On the utility aspect, there’s work emails and Youtube movies about correct leaf raking methods. On the enjoyable aspect, there’s BuzzFeed quizzes and snarky Tweets and porn.

Your objective: work out a “candy spot” between utility and enjoyable that lets you lead a superb, productive life whereas having fun with enjoyable stuff on-line.

However that is a lot simpler stated than carried out. To get to the candy spot, you’ll have to take a REALLY GOOD LOOK at your personal digital habits. You’ll should domesticate the internal honesty to acknowledge what’s and isn’t working. And also you’ll need to commit to creating actual change.

Sound good? Let’s bounce in.

Counter-programming: 9 main rules

These are the 9 main rules of counter-programming your mind. Comply with these guidelines and also you’ll dramatically improve the well being of your digital habits — to not point out your general high quality of life. These have all been examined by me. They work. Put them to be just right for you, and watch your happiness and efficiency leap.

Precept 1: Be purposeful about digital.

The programming: Flip to a display everytime you want one thing. Anxious? Upset? Lonely? Bored? The display has what you want. Paw on the display prefer it’s a slot machine. Set off these hits of dopamine. Relish your superiority. It’s superb to take a spin on the hamster wheel of impulse gratification each on occasion. The place it kills you is when it turns into a lifestyle. When your each waking second is full of Instagram binges, and little tappy video games, and refreshing your information apps, and texting buddies, then — that’s the place your goals die.

The counter-programming: Be intentional when utilizing your digital units. Ask: “Why am I doing this? What am I hoping to perform right here? What’s my objective?” Your digital units are instruments for use purposefully, not slot machines to be slapped time and again on your amusement.

Keep in mind the utility/enjoyable spectrum? Intentionality is what enables you to dip into “enjoyable” with out making it a lifestyle. Once you purposefully determine to tug up Instagram or Fb for a little bit of social media doodling, it’s very totally different from compulsively pulling it up since you’re uncomfortable, or bored, or scared. You keep in management; you name the photographs.

Reduce in your aimless shopping. Means again. Don’t deal with digital like an affordable method to fill lifeless air with senseless clicking. That is like consuming out of boredom. Use digital when you want to, and put it down once you don’t.

Reintroduce friction. Denature the “whip-out-the-phone” impulse. Whenever you aren’t utilizing your telephone, put it away—in a bag or on a stand on a desk throughout the room. Whenever you aren’t utilizing your laptop computer, shut it and put it in a drawer. Create separation.

Oh, and… SLOW DOWN. Don’t whip out your telephone such as you’re going to resuscitate somebody with it. Attempt thoughtfully stopping… opening your bag… eradicating your telephone… mindfully utilizing it… placing it again. It sounds foolish, however these are exactly the sorts of tweaks that practice your thoughts to be extra spacious and calm.

Precept 2: Displace digital from its central position in your life.

The programming: Take a look at your telephone. Take a look at your TV. Take a look at your pc. Reply this message. Reply to this immediate. Look right here. Look right here. Look right here.

Within the consideration financial system, your time and headspace are extra helpful than ever — which has spawned an enormous ecosystem of profit-driven corporations who compete for it. Unguarded, you’ll end up doing their bidding — clicking, tapping and swiping as life goes by.

The counter-programming: As an alternative of treating life as an undifferentiated blur — an infinite collection of screens from which you very sometimes lookup and go “Huh?”—attempt to make a clear break between your (purposeful) digital time and your everything-else, real-life time.

I attempt to take a look at my telephone sparingly, once I have to. I don’t use the display to fill time, or as a security blanket for once I’m uncomfortable. Once I come house, I put it on a bit of stand on the desk by the door.

I’ll take a look at my inputs (e mail, texts, Slack and so forth.) frequently, however solely to ensure nothing wants my instant consideration. On my schedule, I’ll undergo my inputs and 0 them out. However I take pains to not flit from one factor to a different like a butterfly.

And I by no means take a look at my telephone once I’m out and about. I cringe once I catch myself text-walking. If I want to make use of my telephone, I cease, take it out, use it, after which transfer on with my life.

Relocate digital from the middle of your universe to a tertiary planet that you simply sometimes drop in on. Your high quality of life will go up significantly.

Precept three: Reduce out junk-food content material.

The programing: The excessive attraction of digital “junk meals”:

  • Endlessly novel
  • Extremely stimulating
  • Quick refresh (all the time one thing new)
  • Gleefully immature (Assume fluff subReddits, Twitter, 4chan and so forth.)
  • Accessible all over the place, on demand

However like actual junk meals, an excessive amount of of this utterly ruins your weight loss plan. You’re conditioned to crave it increasingly more. You equate it with substance. As Marcus Aurelius wrote, “Your soul takes on the colour of your ideas.” Do you actually need your ideas to be like Twitter or Buzzfeed — endlessly sarcastic, relentlessly bitchy? Or do you need to assume, act and behave like a human being?

The counter-programming: You’re what you eat. That is as true for content material as it’s for meals. Tier your info eating regimen into “By no means,” “Typically” and “All the time.”

By no means: The stuff that’s by no means, ever good. Full junk, and liable to set off a breakdown. For instance, Twitter is on my no-fly listing. Twitter is like 99% complaining. Each time I’m going, I discover myself stumbling out of a rabbit gap a number of hours later. Annoyed, indignant, and questioning the place the day went. It’s ineffective to me.

My By no means record additionally consists of: Nearly all information websites, blogs which might be merciless/snarky/gossipy, political stuff.

Typically: Smart indulgences. Use this as a reward. Did you rise up early and write? Nice, take pleasure in some Netflix within the afternoon. Are you in the midst of a productive research session? Cool, take a ten-minute Instagram break. There are not any hard-and-fast guidelines; you realize once you’ve earned some fluff.

My Typically listing additionally consists of: Reddit (motivational/constructive subreddits ONLY), Fb, the New York Occasions. Intelligently written blogs. Entrepreneurs, motivational and well being content material.

All the time: BOOKS. Learn books. Not solely do books practice your thoughts to monotask on info, they’re an honest display for high quality. Not each ebook is nice and never each high quality concept turns into a ebook, however writing a e-book is tough, and the requirements are comparatively excessive, so concepts are typically higher thought out and researched.

Learn: philosophy, self-development, historical past/enterprise/biography, high quality fiction. And hold a couple of entertaining books round, too, like fantasy/thriller shit — good for winding down on the finish of the day with. Get a Kindle — mine modified my life. If you really feel the necessity to take a look at a display, take a look at your e book of The Meditations as an alternative of Instagram.

You’ll discover there are individuals and blogs which are persistently good. Get on their mailing listing and skim their stuff when it comes out. Reward high quality with consideration. Don’t reward pandering.

Keep in mind: Out of sight, out of thoughts. Unsubscribe from unfavourable subreddits; use Social Fixer to dam disagreeable key phrases/domains out of your Fb feed. Use URL blocker to dam Twitter.

Additionally keep in mind: Triviality is suffocating. Does it actually matter who did what on the Emmys final night time? Does it matter that Twitter had THIS to say? Does it matter that some jackass in another a part of the world went on-line and stated one thing silly? If you wish to assume massive, apply your thoughts to huge issues, over which you’ve got some degree of affect. Don’t scatter your ideas amongst one million insubstantial flecks.

Precept four: Cease multitasking.

The programming: Quickly flick from one display to the subsequent. Notifications popping as much as inform you about the whole lot, on a regular basis. Reply emails whereas strolling to the espresso store. Examine your social media in the course of the lecture. All of it feels super-productive, however multi-tasking crushes productiveness, will increase irritating, and saps your energies. A day spent multitasking is a day wasted. A life spent multitasking is fractious and ineffectual.

The counter-programming: Reacquaint your self with the thrill of deep focus in your work, and presence together with your present frame of mind. Steady multi-tasking packages your mind to go shallow. To do superior shit, we need to go deep.

Earlier than you start every day, have your priorities clearly in thoughts. Write them out in case you want. Determine on what you’re going to do. Higher but, schedule time to do it — prefer it’s an appointment in your calendar. Make and hold this appointment with your self.

When it comes time to work, configure your setting for precise working. Disable notifications for all however probably the most crucial, time-sensitive issues in your laptop computer and smartphone. Maintain your telephone on silent. Shut unneeded tabs. Placed on some chill, non-distracting music. Use a spotlight/break method, corresponding to Pomodoro intervals, to encourage your self. And go do it.

Whenever you’re out on the earth, resist the temptation to “multitask via life.” I’m not going to say it’s useful (or real looking) to NEVER take a look at your telephone, however for God’s sake, not if you’re strolling round or speaking to a pal. Be current with what you’re doing.

Precept 5: Exchange social media with actual social interactions.

The programming: A reside, always-on feed of social info from pals, household, colleagues, former dormmates, somebody you met at a celebration as soon as… Exhibit your cool life and rejoice the coolness of others.

By no means thoughts the truth — that we’re all sitting round inside taking a look at everybody else having enjoyable. By no means thoughts that even once we do “make it,” once we get the cool automotive or gourmand meal, we’re nonetheless posting it on-line, enslaved to the opinions of strangers.

The human thoughts is hard-wired to be social, and social media provides solely a simulacra that may endlessly entice however by no means fulfill.

The counter-programming: Interact in frequent, prolonged social bonding with flesh-and-blood human beings. Sit throughout from them on the desk. Navigate awkward silences. Speak. Discover. Share a meal.

Name up previous associates or acquaintances and go to espresso to catch up. Ask strangers out. Exit to go to a pal and simply BE with them. Don’t fear about documenting it in your feed.

Taper your social media use. Attempt to go on it much less. For those who’re a hardcore consumer, restrict session time. You need to use self-discipline or any variety of apps that point and scale back telephone utilization. When you’re a light-weight social media consumer, contemplate happening a break or discontinuing utilization. I personally keep a Fb and Reddit account however have shut down every part else, and it feels nice. Yeah, I miss out on some stuff — however I preserve headspace for different issues that I place extra worth on. It’s all about priorities.

Precept 6: No porn.

The programming: Indulge your hedonistic wishes to your coronary heart’s content material. It’s regular, wholesome and free.

Besides… It’s not regular. The monkey mind wasn’t made for the world of on-demand, high-def, infinite-variety porn that may be delivered straight into the attention sockets of anyone with a working web connection.

Porn, like compulsive playing and spree purchasing, is an excessive instance of the mind’s reward system being highjacked by an exaggerated model of a naturally wholesome stimulus. Simply because the gambler must maintain pulling that lever to get their dopamine repair, so do porn addicts study to blunt themselves into docile submissiveness with their behavior.

Porn utilization has been clinically linked to modifications in mind plasticity that mirror drug habit. It’s tied to desensitization (a numbed response to pleasure), sensitization (highly effective cravings for extra), hypofrontality (weakened impulse resistance) and dysfunctional stress circuits (elevated use of porn to handle stress).

It’s additionally value including that the business exploits younger ladies , arguments about “empowerment” however.

The counter-programming: This one’s straightforward. Cease watching porn.

If the thought of giving up porn fills you with dread, then congratulations — now you already know for sure that it’s an issue. There isn’t any purpose that a wholesome and well-adjusted individual ought to want to observe porn. None. Creativeness was ok for billions of our ancestors, and will probably be wonderful for you. Higher but — concentrate on intimacy together with your particular somebody, or work on assembly that particular somebody. Go to /r/nofap or /r/noporn . There might be some loopy mumbo-jumbo on there, however the underlying rules/motivation are strong.

Precept 7: Display-free mornings and evenings.

The programming: Maintain your telephone by your bedside. Get up, examine your inbox and Twitter and Instagram earlier than you rise up. (Affiliate your smartphone with security and heat). Take a look at a display till the second you move out. Get up and do it once more.

The counter-programming: It’s essential to have a morning and night routine that omit display time. The primary and final hours of your day must be low exercise and screen-free. Honor your physique’s pure wake/sleep cycles. I can’t overemphasize how important that is.

(There are just a few exceptions. You possibly can take a look at a Kindle should you favor to learn eBooks. And in case you have a very good purpose to be taking a look at a display — like, you’re writing a novel and your writing time is 5-7am — go for it. However reduce it out with the aimless shopping.)

Mornings are a basis, a time to wake your thoughts up and ease it into the day. Select studying, journaling, quiet reflection, stretching. Progressively ramp up the exercise degree. I rise up round 6, however don’t take a look at a display earlier than eight.The nighttime is a time to wind down and put together for sleep. Cease utilizing stimulating digital (video video games, social media and so forth.) with a few hours to go earlier than mattress. The final hour earlier than mattress ought to include studying and rest.

It goes with out saying, however your telephone and pc don’t belong in your bed room. In case your smartphone is your alarm clock, cool — get one on Amazon for $7. (Higher but, get the Philips wakeup clock — value each penny IMO).

Precept eight: Align values with conduct on-line

The programming: Act a method in individual, however let your internal youngster run unfastened on-line. Bully individuals, complain endlessly, decide fights with strangers, depart nasty feedback. What’s the hurt? It’s not you. “On the web, nobody is aware of you’re a canine.”

Oh wait, it IS you. You ARE the individual you act like on-line.

If you complain on-line, your real-life expertise sours. Whenever you obsess over doom-and-gloom information tales, your worldview darkens significantly. And if you’re imply and juvenile and nasty to good strangers, you’ll discover your ideas turning into sharper concerning the real-life individuals that you simply love.

The counter-programming: You aspire (hopefully) to be a sort, beneficiant, emotionally secure, pragmatic, considerate, clever, purposeful and motivated individual. So act prefer it. Don’t fill the online with cruelty, snide judgements, self-deprecation and immaturity. Letting your inside youngster run free is harmful enterprise, particularly on this period the place on-line and real-life identities are completely merged. Regard your public face on the internet like your public face in actual life.

In fact, no one’s good. Hell, you might undergo MY reddit/social media historical past and discover some unsavory stuff. It’s not about being good, it’s about recognizing whenever you stray and getting again on the trail.

There are not any factors for profitable fights towards nameless strangers. Sure, they disagree with you. Sure, they’re horribly ignorant and silly and improper. So what? You’re not going to persuade them over the web. You’ll simply give them what they actually need: a response. So don’t do it.

BE POSITIVE. Don’t ever complain on-line. It’s pointless and narcissistic. No one cares about your complaints almost as a lot as you do. Sure, I do know that if you’re swelling up with righteous outrage, it feels actually good to scream it to the world, however please — reserve it. Mother was proper: say good issues or don’t say ‘em in any respect.

Precept 9: Domesticate actual excellence.

The programming: Get the very best rating, probably the most Likes, the movie star re-tweet, the followers, the upvotes… Treasure them. These are indicators of your worth and price.

The counter-programming: Life is brief. All of us die, however dying isn’t the scary half. It’s the lengthy, sluggish decline beforehand. Your well being, hopes and goals will in all probability fade earlier than your thoughts and physique do.

To be able to meet the decline with out remorse, we owe it to ourselves to work on ourselves. We should always aspire in the direction of excellence. Not unattainable excellence — superhuman magnificence or easy riches — however actual excellence. An pleasurable, productive life crammed with good experiences and good individuals, freed from pointless struggling, beholden to nobody. When requested if we’re pleased, we should always be capable of say “Sure” and not using a second’s hesitation.

Digital can help our path to excellence, however it will possibly no extra present excellence than a paycheck or good automotive or massive home within the suburbs can. (Consider what number of enraged mediocrities there are with well-paying jobs and nice automobiles). Digital can’t make us kinder, or extra aware, or recognize a sundown any extra. It subtracts greater than it provides.

Aspiring to actual excellence provides you a path, the trail of self-improvements. There’s a objective, and a pleasure, to engaged on your self — to watching your mindfulness and well being and health and profession flourish over time. It’s not quick, and it’s not straightforward, however it’s the actual deal.

The specifics of the right way to get there are past the scope of this text, however it’s all the standard suspects. Eat properly — principally unprocessed, entire meals. Reduce consuming, sugar and processed meals. Guard your sleep like a jealous lover. Work out at an applicable depth. Transfer round — a lot of lengthy walks.

The purpose is to do. The doing is the factor. The decline is coming. Fill it with joyful reminiscences. The remaining will care for itself.

Wrapping Up

An important piece of this puzzle is your dedication to vary. In the event you’ve made it this far, I feel we will safely assume you’re at the very least part-way . So, congrats! Now, make it actual.

In case you create a wholesome relationship with digital it should change your life. I do know this for a reality as a result of it modified mine. I’ve reached a degree of relative peace and happiness in my life that I genuinely by no means thought attainable. Definitely, it didn’t appear reachable once I was an stimulus-addicted information-overloaded smartphone monkey.

And but, right here I’m. Removed from good, removed from enlightened, however in a a lot better state than I used to be in a number of years in the past. I hope this information helps you prefer it did me. When you’ve got questions, suggestions, and so forth. — please let me know within the feedback. I really like this group and it’s my pleasure to offer this info.

I hope this helps!

– Homescreen Zero

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